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What does it feel like when your parents get divorced?

What does it feel like when your parents get divorced?

How to help your children through your divorce

That moment when your parents sit you down and tell you they're getting divorced. 

How does a child feel when their parents get divorced?

How does a child feel when parents divorce or separate? Maybe you were that child? Emotions may range from loss, grief, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, fear and worry. Sometimes a child mistakenly may feel responsible and blames themselves for the breakdown of their parents’ marriage. A child could feel scared from the uncertainty, they will wonder what is going to happen to them next. The effects of divorce or separation on a child, no matter how old they are, cannot be under-estimated.

However, research shows that it is not the fact of the divorce or separation itself which has the most negative impact on the child, but rather how it is handled by the parents. 

4 key steps to help you manage your divorce or separation:

1. Your child comes first. Always put the welfare of your child first and make them a priority.

2. Maintain neutral ground. Make sure that your child is not exposed to parental conflict. It can be very stressful for a child to witness conflict between his or her parents, particularly if they have already been caught in the crossfire over a number of months or even years. It is even worse when parents use their child as a pawn in the battle between them. 

3. Listen to what your children have to tell you. Be alert for any sign of distress. Always be available for your child. Make sure that your child is aware that they are in no way to blame for the breakdown of the relationship.

4. Ensure regular contact with both parents (where there are no safeguarding issues). It is most important for the child's wellbeing to support regular contact with both parents. 

Who should you speak to when you need a divorce?

When you are feeling emotional and angry it can certainly be difficult to resolve matters in discussions between yourselves. Most good divorce lawyers should advise you to avoid any Court proceedings if possible. There is the option of attempting to resolve issues through Family Mediation. Family Mediation can be an effective way of resolving your dispute where both parties put every effort into it and put their child’s needs first and foremost.

Family Mediation can be quicker and certainly cheaper than going to Court plus you get to make the decisions yourself, however difficult that may seem. Parents who resolve their issues through family mediation often find they have a better relationship with the ex-partner which is essential for the future parenting of their children.