When You Can’t Agree on School Holiday Childcare - A Family Law Expert’s Guide
With six weeks of summer holidays ahead, what should be a joyful break can turn into a stressful battleground when separated or divorced parents can’t agree on school holiday childcare arrangements.
To discuss child arrangements call 0113 320 5000
We believe it’s essential to focus on clear communication, practical planning, and your children's wellbeing above all else.
Why Summer Holidays Stand Out
The school summer holidays are unlike any other period in the year for both children and parents. With six weeks of unstructured time, routines go out of the window, and expectations shift. For separated or divorced parents, this can quickly become a flashpoint for disagreements.
Unlike term-time arrangements, which often follow predictable weekly patterns, the summer break introduces several complicating factors. Instead of alternating weeks, weekends or midweek visits, summer holiday childcare can bring changes and often requires planning for a different routine. This can bring up issues around fairness, availability, costs (for holiday clubs for instance) and the children’s preferences.
Holiday requests from the parents’ employers can be an issue. Parents may each want to take their children away on separate trips and need to schedule time off work to coincide. Conflicts often arise if requests overlap or aren’t communicated in time.
There’s also the issue of school holiday childcare gaps. Working parents often rely on the school to provide a significant portion of childcare. During the summer, additional arrangements are often needed. They ideally involve collaboration on whether to have the kids go to their grandparents or other family members, attend holiday clubs, or alternate between households. If you and your ex don’t see eye-to-eye on these arrangements, disputes can escalate quickly. Who meets the costs of additional care can also be a potential flashpoint.
Holidays abroad can also be a point of issue rather than fun. One parent may have concerns about the arrangements being made by the other, with disagreements arising over the venue and timing of trips, the access to passports, and how any “missed” time with the other parent should be dealt with.
This is why the summer holidays are often one of the most contentious times of year for separated families. It is also why it's so important to plan early, communicate clearly, and approach arrangements with flexibility where you can.
Even if you have a working term-time routine in place, it’s unwise to assume the same plan will automatically extend into the summer. Arrangements should be revisited where needed and agreed upon in advance. Ideally well before the end of the summer term. This gives everyone time to adjust schedules, book leave, and organise care. It’s crucial to avoid last-minute panic or arguments.
1. Plan School Holiday Childcare Together & Earlier than You Think
It’s important to cast your eye over the school calendar early. Many schools publish term dates 12+ months ahead. You can use this to discuss and agree a summer school holiday childcare schedule.
After you’ve familiarised yourself with the schedule, you can agree a pattern with your ex. For example, one of you could arrange to take the first, third, and fifth weeks while the other takes the even weeks. It can be helpful to use shared tools to stay on top of school holiday childcare plans like this. A joint digital calendar can help to keep everyone up to date and avoid confusion.
While a schedule is important, it’s also advisable to stay flexible. If a work commitment comes up, for example, you should communicate the issue as soon as you’re made aware. And be prepared to step in if your ex hits a snag with school holiday childcare arrangements. The goodwill generated should help if you find yourself needing some flex in the future.
2. Communication Is Key
Always let the other parent know where and when you’ll be taking your children, including travel and accommodation details. In this digital age, it’s easy to keep everyone up to date. Phone or video check-ins can reassure both children and parents during extended time away.
To ensure peace of mind and to keep things civil, send updates or messages. This can head off arguments at the pass and prevent unnecessary panic. Shared photos can also work well for maintaining a positive relationship.
Message our family law experts at family@winstonsolicitors.co.uk
3. Struggling to Reach a School Holiday Childcare Agreement?
If you and your ex can’t settle on a schedule that suits you both, you could try the following steps:
- Mediation. Independent mediators may be able to guide you to a child-focused resolution. It’s faster, cheaper, less stressful than court.
- Legal negotiation. Solicitors can help you negotiate difficult issues, draft a Parenting Plan or even to obtain a Court Order by agreement which can assist with avoiding future misunderstandings or disputes.
- Arbitration. Solicitors you help you deal with the arrangements through an independently appointed individual qualified to resolve matters for you without going to court.
- Private dispute resolution. Again, your solicitors can guide you through this confidential and ideally less costly and stressful means of reaching an outcome with the benefit of an expert independent evaluator.
- Court. If all else fails, a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) can legally specify when exactly children will live or spend time with each parent. This includes the summer holidays. The court can also determine the specific issue of a particular proposed holiday should this be contentious.
The court's focus is always on the child’s best interests. This could involve splitting summer holidays but not necessarily equally, depending on circumstances.
Our team of experts can also advise you where relevant on the new court Pathfinder Pilot which is being used by various courts around the country to ideally speed up cases concerning children. In these areas it is more important than ever to be prepared when you do make a court application. Cases will be “front loaded” with much more information gathering taking place by the court at an early stage through their independent arm court and family services (CAFCASS). This could involve speaking to your child so you need to be ready for this.
The Pathfinder model should ensure that disputes are handled more sensitively by the court, that decisions are more child-focused, and cases conclude more quickly. Our team can advise you on this new process where it applies to your local court.
4. Taking Your Children Abroad? Know the Rules
You don’t need permission to go on holiday with your children if you are staying in the country. However, it’s still always best to tell your ex in advance what you are planning and exactly where you’re going.
You can’t always take your children abroad without your children’s other parent’s agreement, however. If there’s a court order which provides that the child lives with you you can typically take children abroad for up to one month, although the order could specify otherwise. Where there’s no court order, you’ll need the agreement of your ex to take the kids away. There are in fact criminal offences arising from removing your child from the jurisdiction without the relevant consent so it is important to get this right for everyone concerned.
If you have consent, ideally get this in writing. There also may be specific requirements for certain airlines or countries so check before you plan your trips abroad.
5. What If Indirect Contact Is Blocked?
While your ex may be fine with you taking your kids for the summer holidays, they might still throw a spanner in the works. They may not agree to let your children spend time with you on holiday if a new partner is present. Or if certain social events are involved during school holiday childcare.
Make sure to tell the other parent ahead of time about new people in your children’s space. Share any plans for introductions. If disagreements such as this arise, get advice. In rare cases, you may need the intervention of the legal process to clarify boundaries.
To discuss family law issues call 0113 320 5000
Why Written Agreements Matter in School Holiday Childcare
A well-drafted Parenting Plan or CAO helps you to avoid repeated arguments and offers both clarity and security. Our experienced family lawyers can help you to draft clear holiday schedules, ensure plans include the practical nitty-gritty details, and guide you through mediation, other forms of non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) or court if needed.
It’s easy to let emotions take over when you’re trying to plan with an ex-partner. But the best outcome is for your children to spend time with both parents over the summer without the stress of feuding parents. Resolving disputes effectively protects your children’s emotional wellbeing.
Need Help with Disputes?
Our Family Law team specialises in resolving childcare disputes, Parenting Plans, NCDR, and securing CAOs when needed. We simplify legal jargon and guide you towards outcomes that serve your children’s best interests.
Please do also remember that the information above provides that the children can safely spend time with both parents. If you have concerns that they should not, then seek advice, whether from a lawyer, or other relevant professional.
Ready to take the stress out of school holiday childcare? Contact us today to ensure that your children enjoy a happy, conflict-free summer on 0113 320 5000 or by email at @email.
