“He/she is a narcissist,” is a phrase that is being said with increasing frequency and within different types of relationships – family, marriage, working etc. But how true is it?
How to spot a narcissist
We all have narcissistic traits, however, to be considered a narcissist requires a mental health practitioner to formally diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – this is an extensive process.
Unfortunately, narcissism is on the increase.
Divorce/dissolution of a marriage or civil partnership is one of the 10 most traumatic life experiences, divorcing a narcissist or someone with extreme narcissistic traits can be even more traumatic.
Narcissists tend to believe the following:
- They are omnipotent (having great power and influence)
- They are never to blame
- You are the crazy one - the psychopath
- You are the schemer and the gold-digger
- They are the victim – and have been manipulated by you.
It often seems as though you are not on the same page as the narcissist. Not only are you probably not on the same page but you are probably reading a different book! The narcissist can be difficult to understand and appear to defy logic.
How to divorce a narcissist
Separating/divorcing/dissolving a marriage with someone who has narcissistc traits requires tactics – the case you put before the court or during discussion/negotiation needs to be put in a specific way it has to be:
- Detailed and factual with evidence in support;
- Expressed without antagonism and retribution – this is not about revenge but seeking understanding and fairness from the court;
- Calm and composed from instruction through to the conclusion of your proceedings (which can be extremely difficult in circumstances involving narcissists or someone with extreme narcissistic traits).
Points to consider when leaving a narcissistic spouse
They may launch a smear campaign against you, they can become aggressive both verbally and physically (the courts can protect you in relation to this behaviour); and can sometimes put their own needs before those of the children.
Living/being married to someone with narcissistic traits can be emotionally draining and confusing, extricating yourself from a narcissistic relationship is not similar to ending a “normal” type of relationship.
Our Divorce Solicitors based in Leeds have extensive experience in dealing with cases involving partners with narcissistic traits and behaviours (cluster B personality disorders) and can help you navigate the intricacies of the court process whilst dealing with the mindset of narcissists and those that exhibit narcissistic behaviour.
